I have been fortunate in my art education, having had instruction from some very talented and renowned artists. There was one thing I was taught that held me back from my personal expression in painting for years. This was that in order for it to be ‘art’ and taken seriously it had to be big. This is a thing that I believed to be valid- it was a truth in their experience, and a boon to their creative expression. What stymied me was my love of creating small paintings vs. the internal pressure I felt when creating in a larger format.
One semester of a class, painting from a live model, we had a model that was consistently late. While waiting for her to show up I would paint small paintings- referring to them as my ‘waiting for the model series’. At one point, my professor said “I wish you could paint like that on your big paintings.” In my mind, at that time, this translated to ‘until you can paint big like you do small you have no talent’.
For many years after that comment I tried to do just that. I tried to paint big the same way I painted small. What this gave me was a never ending feeling of failure and frustration, because it just did not happen. I could not manage to duplicate my small painting technique on a large surface. Do not get me wrong, I did create some pretty good large paintings that I actually like, but they came after much struggle and I was missing the joy that usually comes of bringing a painting into existence.
Then came the internet, and access to the entire world, rather than my little piece of it. What an eye opener and relief to discover the myriad of small art and artists that I had no clue existed. I discovered there were people who considered small art a legitimate form of expression. I was not alone in my love of small art! As I meandered my way through the internet, following link after link I discovered a gold mine in the form of art communities populated by supportive, nurturing and inspiring creative people
With the help of their insights into surmounting the obstacles of personal creativity as well as members input and feed back I was able to re-think the original statement that left such a void in my creative potential.
I no longer thought the statement “I wish you could paint like that on your big paintings.” To mean “until you paint big you do small you have no talent”.
Now when I remember the statement “I wish you could paint like that on your big paintings.” I think ‘Why?’
I now understand that as a left-handed compliment on my work. It was good; otherwise he would not have wanted to see it large. So, why not make small art? Why not paint in the way that brings me joy and takes me to that place of the creative high? (For lack of a better term)
This new way of seeing has allowed me to break out of the self-imposed size restrictions, has given me wings and such a freedom and joy as I have never before experienced thus opening a channel in which I can explore my creative potential.
